Good God, Lemon...

Four months on from the last post eh? Sweet! Well, seeing as how my procrastination towards my actual assignments will see me doing anything else I might as well fill y'all in!

Winter Break Tour
Not long after my last post, winter break happened. After a relaxing two weeks at home in Seattle, I carted my large-ish self out to DC to see Natalie, then, with Natalie in tow, (ill-advisedly) drove to Connecticut to visit with my aunt and cousins (AND catch Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, something I've wanted to do since I was about five). After a week on the East Coast, flew back to the West, visiting a friend overnight in San Francisco before heading up to Tahoe to spend the weekend with my then-boyfriend. Afterward, spent a nice leisurely week in Phoenix visiting my grandmother then arrived in a huff and exhausted back in Denver.

I'll make another post with greater detail here in a bit!


Getting My Album Done
I kid you not, this is a priority for this year. I'll save this for another post, how bout?

I have basically 13 songs written, and over the winter break had recorded three of them as a full band arrangement. SO EXCITED!!!

The Summer Job
So because of my predilection for the rougher sex, I qualified for something in Colorado called the Pledge for Diversity. It offers 1Ls from traditionally underrepresented backgrounds a chance for a paid clerkship over the summer, something INCREDIBLY rare for a 1L. Around 20 firms have a position, and around 65 people from CU and DU applied.

Now I don't use the word grueling very often. But this process met the requirements, methinks...

You get through the application process first, and that in and of itself was pretty much identical to applying to law school; application sheet, personal statement, resume, transcripts, the works.

If you survive that and make it through, you have a panel interview. You're in front of a hiring partners from several of the firms, and they're asking the typical, "Tell me about yourself" type questions... But then comes the real test... that night, there's a reception; a little mixer for the interviewers (and other hiring personnel) and the students. From what I've heard, that's the real test. They're looking at you with a fine-toothed comb at that point... I got a surprisingly nice write-up from a PR professional that I talked to, and that write-up caught me pleasantly off-guard.

After that, the process turns to a major league draft. Firms pick up to six of the students to interview, the students that make it get between three and six firms to interview with.

I got my three, and then began the interviews. Each were two hours, and downtown. Over two weeks, I was on trains, buses, and in interview rooms. I was researching the hell out of these firms, having information scribbled on notecards that I'd review right up until the interview happened. But you know what? These interviews were completely different than anything I had been through before. No forced selling of myself, no "That's why I'd be a good fit here" histrionics... They were super conversational. They wanted to see if they could stand working with me for 12 hours.

Finally, the process turns into fraternity rush; the students rank the firms, and the firms rank their students.

Cue a week of pins and needles and panic. But, as usual when I panic, something good happens.

I got my #1 pick. It was a #1 to #1 match, and I could not have been happier. The atmosphere at this firm is busy but collegial; the practice areas are very broad; and the summer program has just the right amount of structure while allowing me to pursue the areas I'm interested in.

Unless I screw up royal, I'll be invited back to a second summer. And if that second summer goes well? I'm keeping my fingers crossed to see what happens...


The Demise of a Relationship
And here I thought I was so ahead of the game by bagging me a boyfriend for the first time in almost three years when I got here! But, sadly, it was not meant to be. I just think it's funny how someone can go from "I love you" and meeting your whole family to completely emotionless and "You don't have a car so you stress me out" within six months.

That had to be a record or something... I'm aware I'm here talking about it almost six weeks after the fact, but I'm still pissed, frankly, about the situation.

Weight Loss
Perhaps not coincidentally, I'm currently at my lowest weight since... High school? 259.6 as of this writing, which isn't too shabby once you consider I was 277 on January 1st and 285 on January 1st, 2012.

I can thank some of this process ACTUALLY EXERCISING PORTION CONTROL WHEN I EAT, but the lion's share of the credit goes to my gym partner, Sheeva. Girl's a beast, and one hell of a friend. We keep each other motivated, and oftentimes goad each other into pushing ourselves that extra few reps.

And I've actually been running (on treadmills)! My interval mile has improved from about 13:20 to 11:15... Still not good, but definitely improving! I just find it so funny because running used to absolutely terrify me. I'm a big dude, there's no way around that, and something about panting and sweating bullets after not even a mile (not to mention my limbs flailing without coordination in any direction) would make me very apprehensive.

But I've been doing a lot of "suck it the hell up" pep talks to myself, and that was right at the top of the list.  I still sound like Godzilla on that treadmill though, but I think that's something I'll have to live with

Next goal? Running outside this summer.

I MAY be persuaded to give some before and after shots once I hit my goal.

**Whoosh**

So November is nearly gone, with September and October having passed in a flurry of alcohol and pages very nearly ripped out of my casebooks. Classes end next week, and finals start the week after.

I seriously can't believe that A) my first semester of law school is over and B) the last time I updated this was OVER three months ago. I thought I wasn't going to do that... Huh, oh well...

Oddly enough, the school portion is coming fairly easily to me. Easily enough that I'm paranoid I've missed something major. I'm not saying it hasn't been a challenge, but it's one that I've been able to do and (feel like I) do well.

Now my midterms haven't always reflected that feeling. Civil Procedure did, Criminal Law did not (disastrously so), and Contracts rested somewhere in the middle. Thank God they only count if you don't do as well or better on the final.

So the studying needs to resume, and I'll be back!

Lissie - In Sleep

I'm typically wary of singer/songwriters in Lissie's position, e.g. strikingly beautiful women with powerful voices and (mostly) acoustic guitars. Colbie Caillat or Toby Lightman, anyone? The material, outside of a few major hits, either fades away without leaving much of an impression or plays it frustratingly safe. The hype builds and builds to the first record, then the law of diminishing returns sets in rather quickly. Record labels are frequently to blame here, as they tend to whitewash the more interesting tendencies of these women or just resign them to an A&R back seat (KT Tunstall's underrated Tiger Suit was a definite victim of this).

It took me a while to warm up to Lissie for these same reasons. I didn't want to be frustrated by a lack of artistry, I didn't want to get suckered in by a few amazing songs then be disappointed by the fact she couldn't fill out an album. I was definitely shut up. The album, Catching a Tiger, shows an artist directly descended from that husky-voiced, folk/rock lineage of Bonnie Raitt, Emmylou Harris, and Stevie Nicks. She doesn't take the trite, overly sensitive acoustic route, she doesn't just pay lip service; her attitude and skill on record place her squarely in their midst. Seeing her intense, dextrous live show sealed the deal for me.

She rocks hard.

On "In Sleep," the production is clean and clear but not overly polished. It's a long-ish song for her genre, nearly five minutes. But by the time it boils over into a countrified version of Echo and the Bunnymen's "Killing Moon"in its last two minutes, you're hardly aware of the time that's passed.

Her guitar playing is intuitive and almost minimal, cutting a broad line underneath the brushed drums and slight whispers of synth that give the song most of its considerable tension and desert-at-dusk imagery. Lyrically, it's a darker twist on a "unrequited love" scenario, but her vulnerability here doesn't feel cloying or exploitative. Her attention-commanding voice is what gives the song most of its attack and release dynamic, and it injects some serious grit and emotion into her rather bleak words, in which sleep is the one place she can feel happy and the waking world promises loneliness. It helps the song to maintain balance between the darker musings of the lyrics and the tension of the music.

So, yeah, definitely kicking myself a little that it took two years for me to fully catch on.

The Raveonettes - "She Owns the Streets"

The Raveonettes have always been a favorite of mine. They have a definite style, and one that could be argued to get repetitive. It's not an unfair criticism: Their earlier albums sometimes had sequencing issues where the heartbreak stroll beats and washes of static blurred into one another, giving a bit of sameness. That issue by and large faded by 2008's In and Out of Control, which, dark hued as ever, had a welcoming variety in sounds and texture while still remaining true to the band's distinct style. The first two singles from their forthcoming Observator show this sameness has been eliminated.

"She Owns the Streets," to me, is the finest song they've written. It's got more jangle and less barbed wire than their typically distortion-drenched vignettes, but the sonic clarity here merely magnifies their brilliant way with a melody and moves their 50's fetish forward in an exciting way. While their previous albums had an ever present dark, almost violent sexuality about them, "She Owns the Streets" is almost shocking in its wide-eyed innocence. When Sune Rose Wagner opens the song with a longing, "I wanna know her," you get the impression he means just that. 

Along with the more sinister "Observations," "She Owns the Streets" gives a fascinating look into Observator, and sets the bar dauntingly high.

Week One Recap

So the Preview Course is over. All I can say is I'm glad I came. It was basically a primer to how classes are taught, how to brief cases, and how to really approach the questions asked.

It was kind of nice to see that my gut reactions on many of the legal questions involved were the "correct" answers. (I'm also slowly getting acclimated to the fact that there really is no correct answer, just answers more likely to succeed in court.)

The biggest boon has most definitely been a social one - it was a tremendous opportunity to really get to know a terrific group of people that I can tell will be quality friends and colleagues.

The city has been a little alien to me... Everything is brick, and coming from Seattle that's just not something you see very often. The heat is actually kind of nice; it's been 90+ since I've been here and I love it. They weren't kidding about the altitude though. It's getting better, but those first two staircases I went up... winded. Embarrassingly so.

We have a few advance assignments that I've started on, and I can say unflinchingly that I'm not intimidated. The reading is clicking, and I'm done second guessing myself.

My one lingering trepidation about becoming a lawyer has been, what I perceived, the complete and utter lack of a work life balance once you get out in the field. I have no issue with hard work and longish hours when it's something that fascinates me. I just don't want to be consumed by the work. Thankfully, I've been hearing that the areas of law that interest me aren't as go-go-go-go as some of the others, and I already know that working for a big firm doesn't appeal to me. And earlier today, I received probably the most helpful words yet.

I got my professional mentor earlier in the week (a local judge who ran a successful practice for many years), and I asked him about this very concern. His (condensed) response: "The ultimate answer is not only is it possible, it's mandatory.  One has to make it happen."

So to just be succinct: Bring it, DU.

Ume - Rubicon

I had the pleasure of seeing Ume open for Cursive back in February. It's always such a nice feeling to discover a phenomenal band when you're not expecting it. Visually, they're a bit of a shock, it almost lulls you into a false sense of security.

In Lauren Larson, they have a soft-spoken, petite, almost girl-next-door singer who just absolutely shreds and, once the music starts, owns the stage like a woman possessed. It's unusual (for me at least) to see this juxtaposition in indie. She plays leads that alternate between intricate, needle-sharp stabs and huge, bludgeoning riffs. There's nothing petite about her playing. Her versatility on guitar was matched with equal aplomb by bassist Eric and drummer Rachel.

While the studio version is ever so slightly lacking the urgency Ume brings to its frenetic live show, Rubicon is the surging, pummeling opener to their debut album, Phantoms. Its snakelike lead anchored by Ume's rhythm section at their most primal, it gives Lauren's ethereal voice room to expand and contract, to swoon and spit.

Totally engrossing.

From a Coug to a Pioneer (#BlogPsychotheraphy)

In not even two days, I'll be driving with my dad and 90% of my belongings 1,386 miles to Denver, Colorado.

Law school awaits... University of Denver here I come! I had quit my paralegal job back on the 13th of July after a year and a half at one of the most frustrating places of business around - a law firm representing mortgage bankers in bankruptcy proceedings.

Since that day on the 13th, I've been out more nights than in. I mean, I haven't been crazy, I haven't been living life 750 milliliters at a time, but the amount of alcohol consumed (and the amount of cash spent on consumption of said alcohol) definitely gave me pause earlier this week.

That a good, hoppy IPA has almost supplanted the stalwart gin and tonic as my favorite (spirituous) beverage notwithstanding, I had a pretty glaringly obvious realization.

I'm nervous.

Not that I'm making an unwise move in going to law school. I've researched law school and being an attorney to death since last summer. I've worked in the field, I've seen how attorneys work and said, "Hey, that's how my mind works too." And while I'm sure there will be a mind numbing amount of school work, I'm confident I can do it successfully. I've always seen myself with a post-graduate degree, and this one makes the most sense.

Not that I'm making an unwise move in relocating to a city I've only been to twice. While Seattle has been good to me in a lot of ways, it's not my city. There are a lot of elements to me. I'll miss my family and friends dearly, but there's a lot here I want to get away from. My impressions of Denver blew me away. Friendly (Seattle is polite, but not friendly)! Beautiful (While the summers here rock, the seven months of gray can be a bit much)! Clean! Schizophrenic weather (I kid you not, that's a plus in my book)! Ridiculously gorgeous guys! So yeah, I'm actually quite excited for something new in that department.

Not that I'm making an unwise move in that I don't know many people in Denver. Socially, yes, I'll be starting almost completely from scratch. I know a whole two people from in Denver that have moved from the Seattle area plus a few I had met during my visit. The last time I moved to a place far away without knowing more than a few people (when I went to University of Montana for a year), it was a disaster. Circumstances have changed dramatically since then, chief among them I can now legally drink and I don't melt down to a panicked mess when I don't get a joke. And, thankfully, the only thing frosty about Denver I've found is the weather sometimes.

What I'm nervous about is the adjustment. I haven't seriously challenged myself intellectually since high school (obvious to anyone that's seen my undergraduate GPA). Now, I've challenged myself mentally in my ongoing fight with anxiety (I'm sloooooooowly winning the war, but that's a whole other story), but they're two different beasts. I won't know whether or not this nervousness is well founded or not until the wheels grind into motion with school. And that doesn't help me out either. I've made big strides in getting myself to focus and dispelling a lot of the social anxiety that's plagued me in the past. I've learned a lot about myself lately, and have started to put it to good use, but will it all be enough? Moving across the country is a daunting prospect, much less moving across the country and leaping into something as challenging as law school.

Me being out so often wasn't some subconscious decision... I wanted to make sure I saw everyone before I blasted out of here. But it served another purpose in that it kept me from dwelling too long upon why I was nervous.

So I'm not making the wrong decision, I know that much. I'm just nervous about my ability to succeed in this endeavor. And now I'm less than 48 hours away from starting the 22 hour drive...

Wooooohoooooo!

So we shall see! I'll be using the blog to document my little legal odyssey... should be fun!

Huh, a whole post with no profanity, go me!